Remember Your Friend

I am the place where u are supposed to go when u r in need.

I am the place where u are supposed to know that safety lies.

I am the place where there is no judgment and pride.

Love and appreciation lingers here. In your mind I am far but in your heart I am near.

In times of need and great disdain you sit at my table to release your pain.

I hold u close with a strong embrace but wonder why u have to hurt to visit my place.

I am here when you are full of joy and would like to share in that too.

I long to know you and every emotion that is yours, but it is hard when there are so many doors.

Blocking all the love I have to provide.

Though it may be hard I will never leave your side for I am your spirit that lives inside.

So never look out only look in, open the doors fully to me and let the healing begin.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Hello my name is spirit your eternal friend.

Love Bucket

Is Your Love Bucket Empty

I am sitting in the MVD the other day and there is a mother,father,and their young daughter sitting next to me. The daughter was at least 7 or 8 years old and she was being restless as to be expected it is the MVD and I overheard her say to her father.

Daddy is your love bucket empty ?

I thought it was cute when I heard that and jotted it down,however as I mediated and allowed my mind to wander on this thought I realized how true of a statement this is for some people.

Stephen Covey in his highly fabulous and extremely useful book the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People he describes this as your emotional bank account and works just like any back account. You have to do things to invest or refill your love for others and yourself. If you were to look at your 5 closest relationships what would your answer be to this question?

What is my balance for my closest relationships ?

If it is something you don't know or if it is something that you don't like the answer to let's look at ways to start refilling and investing in our love buckets and bank accounts because there will be a day when you may need to withdraw from the bank or empty out some of the bucket. You need to make sure that you have enough left over to sustain the relationship because we know what happens when you empty the bucket or overdraw our account. In relationships this becomes resentment with a sense of feeling used and the other party not feeling like you have a true investment in the relationship.

The act of refilling however is simple and comes in many forms like the ones before.

• Remembering the other persons favorite things and giving them a magazine article, or sending them an email of something that reminded you of them.
• Leaving personal notes that let know you care or thanking them for something they did.
• Remembering to call and check in during the day.
• A nice gift because it is Wens day.
• Spending quality time with that person.
• Listening To Them
• Wanting More For Them Than You Do For Yourself
• Providing Encouragement

And the list could go on for days those are just a few examples of things that cost nothing but a fraction of time and have a huge ROI on your relationships. And that is the point how much is the other person truly worth to you and how much it is the investment worth to you ? See this is the one time where an investment pays off double for you. When you give to others the thing you give is given back to you by the universe.

When you are being love it is easy to make deposits and fill up your love bucket.

Do not want for anything when you can BE everything.

Until my next post

Namaste and God Bless.

This Will Pass

This too will pass

How many times have you heard that ? In the words of my mother if I had nickel for every time I have heard that I would be rich. The thing is with a statement like that the times I remember hearing it the most are times when things are going pretty awful. We all know those days when things just seem like they are not getting any better.

You woke up and the car wouldn't start.,You spilled coffee on your favorite shirt., and You got placed on assignment with a co worker that is less than optimal to work.

This too will pass

Here is one context where this statement rarely gets used and when I was reading about it the simplicity of it was very powerful.

When things are going great and perfect.

I will be the first to say what you may thinking. Dominick why would I do that when things are going good I want my good times to last not go away? The logical answer is the one you know but may not accept and that is that their is a natural order to things.

Ying & Yang

Good & Bad

Up & Down

So if that is remotely close to what you were thinking then you are fighting natures law and don't worry we all fight it. I am only trying to strengthen your awareness of the battle your taking on.

See realistically we know we can't have the good moments forever but in an effort to focus on the positives in life we tend to think of things being great and wonderful all the time will be the key to that peace we have. However when the seasons shift we start to get upset and frustrated and feel as though some how someone has robbed of these wonderful and awesome moments. Even though we know the natural order of things are for them to go and come.

Why do we do that?

There are three reasons primarily we feel that pain and they are:

Nonresistance- To resist is to not accept the way things are and work with them from that space. It is the decision in your thoughts to want things the way you want them and to push back on life about it. When you do this you block the flow of power that you could receive from taking place in your life. You also create that feeling of things are never going the way they should,or should I say the way you think they should be going.

Non-judgment-Much like resistance it is the idea that the way you think something should be is right and you allow your feelings about that to upset you. You hear it in the following statements " I would never do that I don't know why they do", "Who wears those colors together", "Why do you talk like that", etc. Ultimately when you judge others you saying if they were more like me then things would be better. Well what would happen if you accept them as they are and work from that space ? One thing is for sure you will have less resistance to manage. You also will have less desire to try and persuade them to your way of thinking it would allow you to listen to hear others.

Non-attachment- This is the one that really is hard not to do. You own nothing in this world you are attached to nothing when its all said and done you will leave with only YOU. People,Places,Things, and Moments are not yours to own they are yours to Value,Love, and Appreciate while they are in your presence. You do not get to keep anything you can only add to everything.

Since I have been sharing my teachings and journey with you I have started to see a common thread in my writing and I wanted give this last parting statement as means to fulfilling happiness.

Stop Living Life The Way You Won't It To Be and Start Loving Life The Way It Is

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Sometimes It is Not You

I will start by saying that this is going to one of the most open and revealing blogs I ever write. This is an explanation to why some men some times behave the way we do in relationships and while the reasons can vary. The only one I can be accountable for is my own. So I am going to share with all who read this my story in hopes of saving some people some much unneeded pain.

So I was married for roughly 10-11 years don't quote me as my memory can be bad on such details and I would tell you that when it started out it was everything I ever wanted we had dated for 3 years prior to being married, taken relationship classes that we thought would give us a strong foundation all before we decided to take the jump. I mean there was genuine love there and we wanted to be together I mean what else was there? Realistically their was a lot more and there was one thing that affected me more than Jennifer knew and that thing was

FEAR

See behind all the love and friendship lied a fear that I carried and have carried for many years I was afraid to get married but I couldn't bring myself to say that to Jennifer she had waited a lifetime to share this moment with someone and I had said I was ready for it so I knew there was no way I could walk away form it plus I figured that I would just figure it out along the way that I loved her enough to never hurt here. I never thought it would turn into what it did.

Lesson #1

You can't run from things in a relationship unless you leave the relationship otherwise they will find you and exploit you in this case. The fear would show up about 6 months later and my answer to make it go away was simple create a backup plan. I cheated for no reason other than my fear of being hurt and my wife didn't know at the time because I was scared to tell her. This would set in motion the actions that have gone on in my life for the last 11-12 years. Fear to commit, Fear to lose someone, Fear to give up control, Fear of not being good enough.

Like most things it is only a matter of time before they surface and once this was revealed you can imagine the pain that it caused a newlywed. I mean honestly who does that ? I have apologized countless times and while my ex was no saint in her later years she did not deserve to be hurt because of my personal fears and the lack of acknowledgment of them.

Lesson#2

Acknowledging sometimes is all you need just saying what your afraid of is enough to help create solutions and to start working towards a different path. See what I didn't know then is what I lacked and failed to do I failed share with my partner YOU shouldn't have to feel like your handling these situations alone when your in a relationship and if you do there is a strong likely hood you will fail. I would later truly learn the concept of a relationship being a place of community and sharing. There is no YOU in US

So as mine and Jennifer's relationship would progress it would become a place where I was in constant fear and not of her physically hurting me but emotionally hurting me at some point so I used that as justification for every unfair behavior I had done. This was me at my darkest and most selfish of times. I was to selfish to leave her love but to scared to give mine fully.

So why didn't I just leave?

Take a wild guess FEAR of course leaving would mean being alone and by myself, what about my son,how am I going to make it, what about Jennifer I didn't want to make things worse and finally after I could no longer take it I left and I made the choice to do so. With my ego leading the charge blaming everything and every reason under the sun for why it was right. I hurt Jennifer for the last and final time.

Lesson #3

It is hard to be honest and real when your ego dominates your life. It will control you and create a constant state of internal paranoia much like the story I am describing it would be in hind sight that I saw the damage my ego caused to my life.

Lesson#4

Leaving a relationship and entering another one without a real honest answer for why you left the first one is how the cycle continues. See the only thing you take to a new relationship that is the same as your old one is YOU. So if you don't know why you did what you were doing know that it will return in some form and bring the previous drama with it.

Every relationship I have had since Jennifer has failed within roughly a 4 month window or anytime things got to serious for me because I had yet to acknowledge all of my FEARS the ones I have shared with all of you. This stuff never goes away folks and it varies for different reasons with different people but the rules are still the same we avoid it but it never goes away so now what ?

I will start with an apology because it is the least I could do.

To every women who I have ever been involved with I am sorry from the bottom of my heart that I lacked the self knowledge to prevent from hurting all of you. You are beautiful,divine, wonderful people who did not ask to have someone as confused as I was then to enter your life and create or add drama. I can't speak for all of your situations but in the ones that dealt with me it was probably more me than you when it comes to why the relationship didn't last.

Couple things I wanted to leave you with

• FEAR doesn't live in the house of LOVE they don't exist together for a reason. Love fearlessly going forward it is what is needed or at least it is a component.
• Ground yourself spirituality.
• Be more compassionate to the needs of your partner by committing to listening with an open heart and appreciating them just the way they are.
• Never FEAR love again because doing so is not worth it. It is a puric victory.
• Don't be in limbo because it is like pulling a band aid off slowly it hurts longer and you still have to pull it off.

So I hope that helps at least explain how sometimes things go wrong and usually it happens in the name of love. Change your choices, admit the hard truths, and appreciate the other person because it is always something little that grows like a bad weed in your garden.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Transformers

Freedom is the right of all sentient beings-Optimus Prime

Growing up I wanted to be Optimus Prime so bad I mean it was a genuine thing that meant a lot to me and I would run around screaming "Autobots Rollout" at the top of my lungs. Now that you all have that visual in your head (have fun with that). If you know me personally you you know how much I love Transformers and I mean love them I collect them,play with them, share my knowledge of them and more importantly they remind me the power of manifesting and that if you have a strong enough belief in something you can have it regardless of the situation. Let me tell you a story

Growing up I was a poor kid period and I am not talking about a little poor I am talking Christmas not coming this year poor. I learned that Santa didn't make it to my part of town consistently and it was just my mother that would supply my gifts ,bless her heart she did everything she could to make me the man I am today. I saw her work herself to the bone and it seemed that she could never make ends meet no matter how hard she tried. She was my first example of one of my life long values WORK HARDER than everyone else. Yet no matter how hard she tried she could not get me everything I wanted to which I became a custom to. I did not hold any resentment to her for it nor did I feel it was her fault. However I was still a child and longed for things a child would want so one Christmas I asked for the only toy I ever wanted a G1 Optimus Prime and to my disappointment for the reasons I just stated I was unable to have it.

That moment would be a turning point in my life because it was then that I decided that I would depend on no one to do anything for me I would become self reliant and I swore I would grow up one day and have my Optimus Prime.

Fast forward to a few years ago which was prior to me learning what I know about manifesting your dreams and the power of your thoughts I was at toys r us picking up a random gift for someone and there it was the toy that I had waited 20 years for sitting in front of me. I remember thinking what is the chance of that I bought it of course and I was delighted it was like I was thrust back into time and I got to be the kid that had wanted that toy so bad so many years earlier. Now had this been the only thing that happened with Optimus the story would stop here but it wasn't see the one I purchased was not the original it was a reissue and I know what most of you might say why was I being so picky I should have been grateful. I was grateful but still I wanted the original one and when I know what I what I truly want rarely do I ever believe I will not have it well about 4 months later I was talking about Transformers with a friend of mine and he mentioned in his words " I have a box full of those old ones from the 80's" that were in his garage gathering dust and offered them to me. To my surprise

That box contained not only the original G1prime that I wanted it had about 10-20 other figures that were rare and ones that I also had wanted growing up. They were all in pristine condition with original instructions and all the pieces. For anyone who collects toys knows this is unheard of.

At the time that it was all just random luck but now looking back on it honestly with all I have learned I don't believe that to be the case anymore I believe that it was supposed to happen just the way it did so that I could do exactly what I am doing with the information I discovered. The other piece of it is that I realized there was other things that Optimus Prime had to do with my enlightenment journey one of those being his belief that he stands for.

• He is positive and always looks to win even when the situation dictates otherwise maybe thats why they call him "Optimus"
• He stands for good and justice
• He believes that all humans and robots can share life and co exist that no one is greater than another.He sees the sameness in them
• He is a principle based leader who values others above himself.

The moral of the story is this

• I guess you can find a valuable message in anything if you truly look to see it.
• If you have a knowing about something an actually knowing regardless of anything else and at some point align with the universe you will see your knowing manifest
• There is never a timeline to the things that you know you want
• Who knows I might get my wish to be like optimus after all.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Emotions

A newborn is soft and tender,

A crone, hard and stiff.

Plants and animals, in life, are supple and succulent;

In death, withered and dry.

So softness and tenderness are attributes of life,

And hardness and stiffness, attributes of death.

Just as a sapless tree will split and decay

So an inflexible force will meet defeat;

The hard and mighty lie beneath the ground

While the tender and weak dance on the breeze above.-Lao Tzu

How much do u love your emotions all of them good and bad?

Regardless of how you answer the above question know that my goal is to help you understand the value in why you should love the full range of your emotions and even more so understand where they come from and how perspective shift can help u to do the following

• Use your emotions instead of be used by them.
• Understand yourself more so that you can dissolve conflict with other peoples emotions.

For the collective majority emotions have become something that appears at first to be a huge contributor to our pain but one of the reocuuring things I have learned is that no matter what may be happening or what u might be feeling their is an oppositeI know that you understand there is always a different side of things but how do u get to the good in the bad ,how do u see the love in situations, the joy in the sadness?

By acknowledging that your emotions are based in either on of two forms

• That there are form based emotions and ego based ones.
• Just like unchecked thoughts unchecked emotions can cause un needed pain in your life and take your energy.

Healing begins with AWARENESS of your thoughts and feelings. You must drive a dissociation between you and whatever situation or person you are dealing with. YOU ARE NOT THE SITUATION it does not define you. It is something that u are a part of but it is not part of you. By viewing the world through this lense you remain objective and you can experience your feelings as a guide to either what others are going thru or as how u should respond to a situation. Allow yourself to build trust in how you feel for the stronger your connection to your feelings and the thoughts that generate them. The stronger your connection to your inter spirit will be .

The key to creating the dis associaton is found in silencing your thoughts as I have suggested before thru meditation,yoga,sitting quietly. Do anything that allows you to stop thinking long enough to watch your self in a situation and in case your wondering what this feels like it is when you make a choice and u hear a voice tell your self this is a bad idea or you feel something in the pit of your stomach that says this doesn't seem right.

Sometimes that is enough to stop the action your taking sometimes your ignore it but because your not use to understanding it you write it off as being a coincidence when in fact it is the way your mind should work oin a regular basis. That is the best way I can describe my experience with being aware so it may vary depending on your emotions and your connection to them. Let give a few examples of how to use your emotions in a beneficial way.

You are in a situation where you are being tempted by someone or something else and your looking for an excuse to do the right thing. You get a feeling that says this is a bad idea.

You become good at recognizing your own feelings that when you meet others you can identify what they may be feeling and can counter it with what the emotion calls for.

Anger/Love,Understanding,Acceptance

Loneliness/Companionship,Listening,Acceptance of Self

Used/Reenforced Value

The list goes on but when you can become the observer in your own life and know what feelings your having,how to manage them, then you can see the person in the situation meet their needs and then help them if you can in the situation.

There is always an opposite to what you feel and it is simply a choice of how to get to a point where you choose the option that places you back in control of your life because if your not the driving force of your own life then who is ?

Until My Next Post

Namaste & God Bless

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others-Marianne Willimason

When I read the quote above I felt that it makes for a great conversation and reminder that within each one of us there lies dormant a power greater than anything we can rationalize within our daily lives. The ability to truly be and do anything that we want, to be anything we want , to create the life you deserve. Fear interrupts action and the flow of life wastes energy,and it makes people doubt any of what I previously said. It becomes something that limits you and holds you back from allowing yourself to do and be anything you want.

What would you be or what could you do if removed fear from your life ?

How many new relationships could you form or have the opportunity to experience if your weren't afraid?

What would your future be if you allowed yourself to have a healthy detachment from limiting fear?

I know that if your like me and most people are a like the biggest hurdle to overcome when it comes to fear is our internal dialogue and your ego if your dialogue is consistently telling that you are not good enough, you don't deserve that, you can't do that, what will everyone say ? Then your ego will suspend your action because it enjoys keeping you blinded by the truth which is that God is inside you and shares the power of the universe with you. That on the other side of all those limitations is a world of no limitations beyond the ones that you put on yourself All that is required to access this is

Awareness- In simple terms this means paying attention to your thoughts,actions, and life. Most people are own autopilot letting life happen and thinking some cosmic force is conspiring to hold them back from greatness. I will tell having gone thru this experience that is true there is a cosmic force alright and it will push you towards your dreams the moment you align with it until then it will give you nothing more than what you believe your worth.

Silence-It widens the gap between between the ego centered mind and your spirit. God lives in the silence thats where your access to all that is within lies. Yet when was the last time you set alone and consciously let your mind be quite. Here is an interesting yet fine example of fear. There is a good chance that silence for most people doesn't happen because they are afraid of what will be left when the ideal mind chatter stops. I encourage you to try it to find out. Mediation,running,yoga,sitting quietly in a room are just a few examples of silent exercises.

Thoughts-This one is key because it is the soundtrack of your life the way you see and believe things to be. If you have corrupt unsure, limiting,and self defeating thoughts then you have lost before you start one none of the above matters if you reinforce it by poor quality thoughts. Your entire life is about making the best choices that you know how to make at any given moment. Learning to reframe everything in your mind, refusing limiting thoughts to exist in the space between your ears, to not build your worth in anything or anyone other than you. All a thought that leads to a choice that leads to an action that then creates a result and results then become your life.

How differently would your thoughts be if you started to see yourself the way God does ?

The answer to above question is probably a lot different than what it is right now. You are a divine being don't allow fear to stop you from being all that you are. YOU are worth it, YOU are beautiful, YOU are stronger than you know, YOU can be,do,and have all the things that you deserve. YOU can change the world by changing the way you see and live YOUR world. Don't die with your music in YOUR heart stand forth and allow YOUR beauty and power to shine forth.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless