Love Bucket

Is Your Love Bucket Empty

I am sitting in the MVD the other day and there is a mother,father,and their young daughter sitting next to me. The daughter was at least 7 or 8 years old and she was being restless as to be expected it is the MVD and I overheard her say to her father.

Daddy is your love bucket empty ?

I thought it was cute when I heard that and jotted it down,however as I mediated and allowed my mind to wander on this thought I realized how true of a statement this is for some people.

Stephen Covey in his highly fabulous and extremely useful book the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People he describes this as your emotional bank account and works just like any back account. You have to do things to invest or refill your love for others and yourself. If you were to look at your 5 closest relationships what would your answer be to this question?

What is my balance for my closest relationships ?

If it is something you don't know or if it is something that you don't like the answer to let's look at ways to start refilling and investing in our love buckets and bank accounts because there will be a day when you may need to withdraw from the bank or empty out some of the bucket. You need to make sure that you have enough left over to sustain the relationship because we know what happens when you empty the bucket or overdraw our account. In relationships this becomes resentment with a sense of feeling used and the other party not feeling like you have a true investment in the relationship.

The act of refilling however is simple and comes in many forms like the ones before.

• Remembering the other persons favorite things and giving them a magazine article, or sending them an email of something that reminded you of them.
• Leaving personal notes that let know you care or thanking them for something they did.
• Remembering to call and check in during the day.
• A nice gift because it is Wens day.
• Spending quality time with that person.
• Listening To Them
• Wanting More For Them Than You Do For Yourself
• Providing Encouragement

And the list could go on for days those are just a few examples of things that cost nothing but a fraction of time and have a huge ROI on your relationships. And that is the point how much is the other person truly worth to you and how much it is the investment worth to you ? See this is the one time where an investment pays off double for you. When you give to others the thing you give is given back to you by the universe.

When you are being love it is easy to make deposits and fill up your love bucket.

Do not want for anything when you can BE everything.

Until my next post

Namaste and God Bless.

This Will Pass

This too will pass

How many times have you heard that ? In the words of my mother if I had nickel for every time I have heard that I would be rich. The thing is with a statement like that the times I remember hearing it the most are times when things are going pretty awful. We all know those days when things just seem like they are not getting any better.

You woke up and the car wouldn't start.,You spilled coffee on your favorite shirt., and You got placed on assignment with a co worker that is less than optimal to work.

This too will pass

Here is one context where this statement rarely gets used and when I was reading about it the simplicity of it was very powerful.

When things are going great and perfect.

I will be the first to say what you may thinking. Dominick why would I do that when things are going good I want my good times to last not go away? The logical answer is the one you know but may not accept and that is that their is a natural order to things.

Ying & Yang

Good & Bad

Up & Down

So if that is remotely close to what you were thinking then you are fighting natures law and don't worry we all fight it. I am only trying to strengthen your awareness of the battle your taking on.

See realistically we know we can't have the good moments forever but in an effort to focus on the positives in life we tend to think of things being great and wonderful all the time will be the key to that peace we have. However when the seasons shift we start to get upset and frustrated and feel as though some how someone has robbed of these wonderful and awesome moments. Even though we know the natural order of things are for them to go and come.

Why do we do that?

There are three reasons primarily we feel that pain and they are:

Nonresistance- To resist is to not accept the way things are and work with them from that space. It is the decision in your thoughts to want things the way you want them and to push back on life about it. When you do this you block the flow of power that you could receive from taking place in your life. You also create that feeling of things are never going the way they should,or should I say the way you think they should be going.

Non-judgment-Much like resistance it is the idea that the way you think something should be is right and you allow your feelings about that to upset you. You hear it in the following statements " I would never do that I don't know why they do", "Who wears those colors together", "Why do you talk like that", etc. Ultimately when you judge others you saying if they were more like me then things would be better. Well what would happen if you accept them as they are and work from that space ? One thing is for sure you will have less resistance to manage. You also will have less desire to try and persuade them to your way of thinking it would allow you to listen to hear others.

Non-attachment- This is the one that really is hard not to do. You own nothing in this world you are attached to nothing when its all said and done you will leave with only YOU. People,Places,Things, and Moments are not yours to own they are yours to Value,Love, and Appreciate while they are in your presence. You do not get to keep anything you can only add to everything.

Since I have been sharing my teachings and journey with you I have started to see a common thread in my writing and I wanted give this last parting statement as means to fulfilling happiness.

Stop Living Life The Way You Won't It To Be and Start Loving Life The Way It Is

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Sometimes It is Not You

I will start by saying that this is going to one of the most open and revealing blogs I ever write. This is an explanation to why some men some times behave the way we do in relationships and while the reasons can vary. The only one I can be accountable for is my own. So I am going to share with all who read this my story in hopes of saving some people some much unneeded pain.

So I was married for roughly 10-11 years don't quote me as my memory can be bad on such details and I would tell you that when it started out it was everything I ever wanted we had dated for 3 years prior to being married, taken relationship classes that we thought would give us a strong foundation all before we decided to take the jump. I mean there was genuine love there and we wanted to be together I mean what else was there? Realistically their was a lot more and there was one thing that affected me more than Jennifer knew and that thing was

FEAR

See behind all the love and friendship lied a fear that I carried and have carried for many years I was afraid to get married but I couldn't bring myself to say that to Jennifer she had waited a lifetime to share this moment with someone and I had said I was ready for it so I knew there was no way I could walk away form it plus I figured that I would just figure it out along the way that I loved her enough to never hurt here. I never thought it would turn into what it did.

Lesson #1

You can't run from things in a relationship unless you leave the relationship otherwise they will find you and exploit you in this case. The fear would show up about 6 months later and my answer to make it go away was simple create a backup plan. I cheated for no reason other than my fear of being hurt and my wife didn't know at the time because I was scared to tell her. This would set in motion the actions that have gone on in my life for the last 11-12 years. Fear to commit, Fear to lose someone, Fear to give up control, Fear of not being good enough.

Like most things it is only a matter of time before they surface and once this was revealed you can imagine the pain that it caused a newlywed. I mean honestly who does that ? I have apologized countless times and while my ex was no saint in her later years she did not deserve to be hurt because of my personal fears and the lack of acknowledgment of them.

Lesson#2

Acknowledging sometimes is all you need just saying what your afraid of is enough to help create solutions and to start working towards a different path. See what I didn't know then is what I lacked and failed to do I failed share with my partner YOU shouldn't have to feel like your handling these situations alone when your in a relationship and if you do there is a strong likely hood you will fail. I would later truly learn the concept of a relationship being a place of community and sharing. There is no YOU in US

So as mine and Jennifer's relationship would progress it would become a place where I was in constant fear and not of her physically hurting me but emotionally hurting me at some point so I used that as justification for every unfair behavior I had done. This was me at my darkest and most selfish of times. I was to selfish to leave her love but to scared to give mine fully.

So why didn't I just leave?

Take a wild guess FEAR of course leaving would mean being alone and by myself, what about my son,how am I going to make it, what about Jennifer I didn't want to make things worse and finally after I could no longer take it I left and I made the choice to do so. With my ego leading the charge blaming everything and every reason under the sun for why it was right. I hurt Jennifer for the last and final time.

Lesson #3

It is hard to be honest and real when your ego dominates your life. It will control you and create a constant state of internal paranoia much like the story I am describing it would be in hind sight that I saw the damage my ego caused to my life.

Lesson#4

Leaving a relationship and entering another one without a real honest answer for why you left the first one is how the cycle continues. See the only thing you take to a new relationship that is the same as your old one is YOU. So if you don't know why you did what you were doing know that it will return in some form and bring the previous drama with it.

Every relationship I have had since Jennifer has failed within roughly a 4 month window or anytime things got to serious for me because I had yet to acknowledge all of my FEARS the ones I have shared with all of you. This stuff never goes away folks and it varies for different reasons with different people but the rules are still the same we avoid it but it never goes away so now what ?

I will start with an apology because it is the least I could do.

To every women who I have ever been involved with I am sorry from the bottom of my heart that I lacked the self knowledge to prevent from hurting all of you. You are beautiful,divine, wonderful people who did not ask to have someone as confused as I was then to enter your life and create or add drama. I can't speak for all of your situations but in the ones that dealt with me it was probably more me than you when it comes to why the relationship didn't last.

Couple things I wanted to leave you with

• FEAR doesn't live in the house of LOVE they don't exist together for a reason. Love fearlessly going forward it is what is needed or at least it is a component.
• Ground yourself spirituality.
• Be more compassionate to the needs of your partner by committing to listening with an open heart and appreciating them just the way they are.
• Never FEAR love again because doing so is not worth it. It is a puric victory.
• Don't be in limbo because it is like pulling a band aid off slowly it hurts longer and you still have to pull it off.

So I hope that helps at least explain how sometimes things go wrong and usually it happens in the name of love. Change your choices, admit the hard truths, and appreciate the other person because it is always something little that grows like a bad weed in your garden.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Emotions

A newborn is soft and tender,

A crone, hard and stiff.

Plants and animals, in life, are supple and succulent;

In death, withered and dry.

So softness and tenderness are attributes of life,

And hardness and stiffness, attributes of death.

Just as a sapless tree will split and decay

So an inflexible force will meet defeat;

The hard and mighty lie beneath the ground

While the tender and weak dance on the breeze above.-Lao Tzu

How much do u love your emotions all of them good and bad?

Regardless of how you answer the above question know that my goal is to help you understand the value in why you should love the full range of your emotions and even more so understand where they come from and how perspective shift can help u to do the following

• Use your emotions instead of be used by them.
• Understand yourself more so that you can dissolve conflict with other peoples emotions.

For the collective majority emotions have become something that appears at first to be a huge contributor to our pain but one of the reocuuring things I have learned is that no matter what may be happening or what u might be feeling their is an oppositeI know that you understand there is always a different side of things but how do u get to the good in the bad ,how do u see the love in situations, the joy in the sadness?

By acknowledging that your emotions are based in either on of two forms

• That there are form based emotions and ego based ones.
• Just like unchecked thoughts unchecked emotions can cause un needed pain in your life and take your energy.

Healing begins with AWARENESS of your thoughts and feelings. You must drive a dissociation between you and whatever situation or person you are dealing with. YOU ARE NOT THE SITUATION it does not define you. It is something that u are a part of but it is not part of you. By viewing the world through this lense you remain objective and you can experience your feelings as a guide to either what others are going thru or as how u should respond to a situation. Allow yourself to build trust in how you feel for the stronger your connection to your feelings and the thoughts that generate them. The stronger your connection to your inter spirit will be .

The key to creating the dis associaton is found in silencing your thoughts as I have suggested before thru meditation,yoga,sitting quietly. Do anything that allows you to stop thinking long enough to watch your self in a situation and in case your wondering what this feels like it is when you make a choice and u hear a voice tell your self this is a bad idea or you feel something in the pit of your stomach that says this doesn't seem right.

Sometimes that is enough to stop the action your taking sometimes your ignore it but because your not use to understanding it you write it off as being a coincidence when in fact it is the way your mind should work oin a regular basis. That is the best way I can describe my experience with being aware so it may vary depending on your emotions and your connection to them. Let give a few examples of how to use your emotions in a beneficial way.

You are in a situation where you are being tempted by someone or something else and your looking for an excuse to do the right thing. You get a feeling that says this is a bad idea.

You become good at recognizing your own feelings that when you meet others you can identify what they may be feeling and can counter it with what the emotion calls for.

Anger/Love,Understanding,Acceptance

Loneliness/Companionship,Listening,Acceptance of Self

Used/Reenforced Value

The list goes on but when you can become the observer in your own life and know what feelings your having,how to manage them, then you can see the person in the situation meet their needs and then help them if you can in the situation.

There is always an opposite to what you feel and it is simply a choice of how to get to a point where you choose the option that places you back in control of your life because if your not the driving force of your own life then who is ?

Until My Next Post

Namaste & God Bless

Bringing Happiness To Something Is Different Than Trying To Get Happiness Out Of Things

I woke up this morning and called my friend to get permission to be happy.

If you thought the line I stated above was the dumbest thing you have ever heard then you my friend get a Gold Star. When you place it into that persepctive however it seems crystal clear but we all do it or have done it at some point. Giving up our hapiness to something or someone that resides outside of us and in doing this critize,blame,and allow a reason for us not be happy.In my personal journey I can understand why and how this comes about and starts with being happy inside and then only allowing other things to add to that not take away from it.

So the first and most obvious question I would have reading this is How do I know what makes me happy ? Well my friend all I can say to that is results may vary and it requries time,focus, and patience for you to learn yourself enough to know what things make you happy. It could be one thing or a combination of things like it is for me. I would suggest that you start living life to find out and be open to everything once,check the results, and look for the things that repeat if you find something that keeps showing up and you enjoy it then it is probably something that makes you happy and keeps you balanced add it to the mix. Everything else becomes something else you learn on your journey thru this thing called life.

So here is the benefit of knowing what makes you happy from there the sky is the limit you can then CHOOSE to let things deplete your happiness bank or you can let things leave deposits that increase your happines. I love letting myself find the beauty and happiness in things because you see parts of life differently and more vividly. In reality it is all about how your process things that come to you. and they are going to come and you can't change that but you can change how you see things that is your place that you can work from. This is the moment happiness becomes a choice.

The issue we have is sometimes we give up our choices because honestly it is easier to say Life Happened,If You had someone else, That new pair of shoes, Car,House and it seems like a bottomless pit and for good reason becasue "Nothing ouside of the soul/spirit can quench its thirst for inner happiness" yet it is easier give up that ownership in a lot of cases than it is love ourselves ,or learn a new language, or learn a new skill.The other side of that coin is this if you spent less energy telling your story about why your unhappy and more time focusing on learning about yourself u would have more answers,more energy, and ultimately more happines.

The last rule I think is to have fun while you do it and let that fun start from within. Then everything else can be fun that doesn't identfy you which is where the trap really tends to happen and exactly where you don't want to be.

Happiness is a choice and is not something you find as much as it is something your discover from within.

Good Luck On Your Search

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Why Women Are More Enlightened Than Men

It is interesting how things flow into me when it comes to what I write for example this article came about after dropping my son off at school the other day I saw one of the parents there and she was a pregnant lady which got me to thinking and led me down the path of this posting and this belief which is centered around the fact that God gave women a closer connection to him.

To me that explains a lot of the reasons that women have such a strong emotional connection why a mom has an intuition I don't think it is just that I believe it is they are tuned in on a higher frequency than men especially with their children it is almost as if a child gets most of its spirit from its mother and its ego/duality from their father. I think this is also why women suffer so much with dealing with the ways of the world and confliction of their spirit.

See men and women both share the challenges of form. Duality,Opinions Of Others,Ego,all the things that throw the spirit out of alignment and harmony however women have an additional challenge since they seem to operate at higher spiritual level and we all know u can't give away what u don't have inside. I think in order for a women not to lose her spirit and herself she has enough spirit to transfer some of it to her child and I think we see that in all areas of a women's life . More emotion, tears,feelings, and more compassion a sense that what she is feeling is not right because it is too much based on what other people think should be enough. Look at a mothers intuition is it just chance that a mother knows her kids, can feel their pain, and sense something being wrong even when the child is no where around I don't think so I think it is because they have that deeper connection they share the same frequency if you will. I mean I can't recall ever hearing of a fathers connection although they may very well exist just not in abundance they way it is with women.

When I thought about all of this I felt bad for all that a women must feel torn inside at times I mean it is also my belief that this makes it harder for a women to spiritually connect with males because for the most part men take longer to find there spiritual connection it is not impossible to do but requires patience on part of the women to understand this. The funny thing is most women have the patience and will give it if they know the love they will receive is real and worth waiting for. I think as men need to understand this more and learn to embrace that a women may operate at a higher frequency therefore they will feel things differently for us and for others and that is ok. That is the beauty of it all. We are all different and it is the appreciation,understanding, and acceptance of it that makes it all work. Men know even though all of this may not be something that is proven fact yet it is proven if you can make your partner feel excepted for all the things she doesn't understand about herself like the things I am writing about and you love her just the way she is all of her no strings attached there is not a real women on this planet who will not be receptive to that. We are designed to live in harmony and part of that design is being happy and accepting our differences and one of those is that women in my opinion carry a stronger and higher connection to their spirit.

So the point of this all for me is to confirm what I already knew and what most women are confused about that is it is ok to be what you are even if know one understands why. It is your truth and for you to embrace it and be happy about. See I have learned that happiness is not something you find it is something that is already inside it is accepting what is and being ok with it. I think that we sometimes allow the world to remove us from this truth but I say we shouldn't things are beautiful just as they are.

Until My Next Posting

Namaste & God Bless

How Do You Move A Mountain ?

The answer to the above question is one stone at a time. That is an ancient proverb I read somewhere and I wanted to talk about it further in relation to our goals because I think it is interesting to know how this truly looks in our lives today. I will speak from my personal experience in setting goals and achieving them.

The first step is you have to have something you want as simple as that sounds defining it for some is a separate article all by itself. In my case that was doing an Ironman Triathlon which I have posted about numerous times and the experiences that it has taught me which is an unwritten but often a side effect of following thru on a goal you will ultimately learn things about yourself that you never knew.

Now this is where I start to differ from the normal conventional thought process surrounding goal setting with it's different formats and deciding if it is too much for you, and are you being realistic. Since being realistic is just a thought pattern you as an individual determine if it is real for you not a format of any kind.

For me the next steps are simple break your goal down into daily action steps a little something you can strive towards daily,weekly,and monthly.

Make sure you can track it for measurement purposes because there is nothing more frustrating than doing a bunch of work and having now idea what your results are.

Then go to work and on it, detach yourself from outcome, surrender to the process, never look back, never criticize yourself and review the goal in 90 days. The point I am trying to make is to get started and make it a part of life to do it and let the outcome find you there is no need to chase it because you have set it up so that all you have to do is move your stones on a daily basis the mountain will come to you. Below you can see this in action. I have been training for my triathlon for the last year and like most I started my goal with all these expectations and had it planned the way I wanted it to be however as things progressed I learned the tips I previously gained and let my attention focus there. i bought a new tracking device for my data a Garmin 405 for all the hardcore biker/runners it is the cadillac of training devices and I swear by it below is the data it collected on my in the last month and half since having it.

Count: 22 Activities

Distance: 289.06

Time: 28:21:52

Elevation Gain; 22,117 ft

Avg Speed: 10.2 mph

Avg Hr: 149 bpm

Avg Bike Cadence: 221 rpm

Calories: 20,766

When I looked back on those numbers I could not believe that I would have ever done anything like that but apparently I did. You don't feel or notice your present moment until it becomes your past but the truth is little actions and steps add up on such a grand scale I mean think what would happen if everyone committed to a simple act of kindness daily what the result would be on a global scale ? Goals and daily action are a great way to help you work on your present moment focus and work to improve the overall quality of your life because ultimately that is what it is all about.

How do you move a mountain? One stone at a time.

How do you hit your goal? One step at a time.

How do you improve your life? One present moment at a time.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

The Gift Of Giving

As you prepare for your journey this week into the world. Take a moment to reflect on how much you have chosen to give in your life in my recent journey to grow,find myself, and my purpose this is something I have come to learn is an important part of who I am and for the longest time I was torn with dealing with my spirit, my ego, and the world we live in. I talked to my mother prior to writing this and she told me since I was young I have always been someone who enjoyed giving to others that I always shared everything I had.

When I was younger I did not understand the way of the lonely traveler and at the time the world I lived in did not reward a person for being different for seeing the world differently. Can i remember thinking as a child why can not play with that child ? See I grew up in a very racially segregated part of the US and doing things that were outside of the norm like playing with kids of another color would result in you being treated differently for being different. I never have known how to just go along even when it looked like I was internally I was struggling. I tried to conform to the world and like a boy looking outside a window at life trying to understand the world and my place in it.

Then I learned the most life changing thing for me what I was looking for was never out that window. I had to turn around and look thru my own house. I had to look inside myself as I started to do that I started to see things I remembered doing as a child that I had changed because they didn't go with the world years after growing up in a place where I felt my differences were restricted and I continued to carry this within me to adulthood. As I learn,accept, and release past beliefs to reveal myself I have learned amazing things about me one of those is the subject of this article. I have a spirt of generosity that is a huge part of me and while that flies in the face of convection within the world I know longer care. Giving to me is one of greatest things you or I can ever do.

If I had of stood my ground and never tried to conform I may not have had the experiences I enjoy sharing with anyone who would like to read it. Nor would I have grown and become the man I was supposed to be.

When I went to church last Sunday to hear the word of God I had no idea I would hear the importance of giving and the impact it has in the eyes of god. Generosity is a a simple thing that can be done by anyone at anytime and costs nothing it is free. In the bible according to Isaiah 32:8 it also is considered noble in the eyes of god which is fine but it is and never has been something I considered.

It is nothing more beautiful than giving I have listed a few things that can help you incorporate this concept into your life.

Give a Dinner To People You Care For Without A Reason

Give You Time To Talk To A Friend

Give A Compliment To A Stranger

Give Money For Good Cause.

Give Time To Yourself

Give Time To Your Children

There is only one other rule DETACH FROM OUTCOME this has to happen otherwise it will not be genuine and the meaning can be negated. It is not hard but the impact is huge a simple compliment can change a life by letting someone know you care and see them and appreciate them just as they are.

Until My Next Posting

Namaste & God Bless

The Value In Realationships

Knowledge changes everything in life I truly can say that looking back on my life every true change has happened when I have accumulated enough knowledge to challenge what someone from somewhere who told me that was what i was supposed to do. After years of formal education I expanded by ability to learn further into others including spirituality and relationships. I have learned many things in this process including the topic of this article

Your Spirit Needs Relationships To Grow

When I first heard that I was frustrated because why would I ever think I truly need other people to make me better I have never relied on the good opinion of others if I didn't believe them. As I deepened my knowledge I would learn the following concepts.

• I am not my thoughts and within me is my spirit and it is independent of ego.
• Ego is form based,never satisfied, and does everything it can to protect itself
• I was an extremely ego dominated person

Once I learned the three things above I learned to listen to what my spirit tells me instead of what my ego did and I noticed the difference which could be different for everyone but for me it was hearing the emotion behind every conversation. When I learned what my ego sounded like versus the desire to do the right thing I began to see others much differently. This is what lead me to my next finding

Whenever I would interact with others there would be times when things would get my ego flared up and then it hit me The Way I React To Others is a good indication of things within me that I need to work on for example if I am in a conversation and I begin to get defensive when getting feedback on something I began to ask myself WHY ?

In personal relationships this multiplies 10 fold because they are the closest to you. Everyones partner has that thing that bugs them from leaving clothes on the floor to drinking milk out of the carton. Have you ever wondered the validity of those statements In the past my ego put me in the defensive against those moments as I am sure you may have experienced. I now know my partner was right and had I accepted some of that knowledge I would have grown further in my relationship instead I allowed my ego to guide my decisions not my spirit and my heart.

Since changing the frame on how I see this topic let me say I have a burning passion to interact with everyone because I see everyone with more value if I can learn about me from how I interact with others there is so much good for both them and I. I now listen at a different level with my own feelings being monitored I am open to truly give back more to people, and when our conversation ends we both can feel satisfied. I am not saying to take others opinions I am saying take your own opinion around why you responded the way you did when you can answer that you will see the thing that you can work on, compare it with your own personal past and if it is true you can change it.

We truly need each other in this journey called life everyone is valuable every interaction is an opportunity for you to be better than you were before it took place which is a concept I love to embrace.

Until my next post

Namaste & God Bless

Shift Of Responseability

I was at lunch yesterday with myself which before I continue into my story was in itself a blissful experience enjoying a meal with me and myself. However as I was saying I am at lunch and I look over to see the young worker cleaning the tables after each person finished, and I have to say he was doing his job with such pride it was easy to see that he took pride in what he did. In watching him I wanted to know how I could serve him and when I searched for the answer I easily found it. I could clean my own table a simple gift of letting him know that he could have a break to chat or whatever. So I approached him with this idea and he responded to me " That's ok its my job" which I expected him to say that and I responded with well it is my response ability to clean up after myself.

Then it hit me that in life it happens to often that responsibility that should be ours gets shifted to someone else and for some that means even responsibilities for their own life. Then when the shift has been made an awful thing happens blame is placed on the other party for failing to live up to our expectations. That is like me yelling at the young man who cleaned my table yesterday for not cleaning it to my standards when I could have done it myself. This is seen mostly in close personal relationships which I will discuss in a separate posting.

I don't know why this concept seemed to hit me so hard and as I expanded on it so many other things played into it like the reason we have rules are to shift responsibility back to people who choose to do something other than what they know to be morally correct. It is the reason we have supervisors at our jobs to make sure we are held accountable which means to shift responsibility back to the owner. For me it I see how the simplicity of life is lost in this fact because I have truly believe that the universe has design and structure even if we weren't given the rules for it. The goodness of your heart lies in your ability to connect with your soul. This is the golden thread of life and if that was a belief that was truly held by the collective majority we could live a balanced and harmonious life which is what we all strive for anyway on a individual level. Here is the clincher we are all looking for the same thing and it could be easily obtained together yet for some the choice to struggle against what is and the denial that we are as one prevents this concept.

I encourage you to take time in your life to look for areas where you can take more of your responsibility back. You can't do anything about what life will deal you for that is already decided but the power of choice is yours. The power to be able to respond (response-ability) to it all is one of the keys to enjoying a fulfilling and balanced life so don't give that away for it is a precious gift that is designed to help you towards the balance and happiness you so desire.

Until My Next Posting

Namaste & God Bless

The Lonely Traveler

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do."- Eleanor Roosevelt

The above quote was so powerful for me when I first read it I was in awe of the way fear can be such a wonderful learning experience yet we often overlook it due to the amount of pain and uncertainty that is generated in us by the way we see it. However when you look at the great thinkers the people I like to think of as lonely travelers on this journey called life this was almost born into them. When they looked at situations they saw the same as everyone else but as the quote verbalized they saw something greater than just the fear they saw what was on the other side of the hill.

See in my journey I have come to see life as a long country road. The kind of road you see in the movies that has nothing but a vast amount of open space around it with a long road ahead and an even longer one behind. As we travel this road we go thru different cites some small and simple, some large and complex and require more time than we may have to spend with them. No what we end up in a space where we are alone with nothing but the road ahead and as we travel of course we encounter bad weather the storms are gonna come just like the seasons are sure to because nature is right with her understanding of the flow of life.

It is when we are at our worst our field of perception changes to see only a few things the storm we are in and the long road ahead and the fact that it is getting late and darkness is going to set in. Yet a few shifts in our perception could change it forever and this is what a lonely traveler does with almost a natural instinct they see what we see but they see more like they see in widescreen. They see that by accepting the journey for what it is and not what they feel it should be and by surrendering to life it is easier to weather the storms and that the reward for doing so can be just over that next hill. So they embrace and enjoy the journey for what it is and when this is done courage seems to flow out of them like a river and the concept of fear becomes part of the journey not the focus of it.

In our own lives we spend a large amount of time walking in the crowd with everyone elbow to elbow and neck to neck. Today you can make a choice to walk another road and experience a different road in life. You can start by taking short walks and increasing them as you become one with the process but allow yourself to love the walk that is life for there is no pleasure sweeter than that of a great journey traveled.

Until my next post

Namaste & God Bless

Life Is Random

This is an awesome talk about using the web in a way that is often neglected in our form dominated lifestyles.

Remember How To Be A Child.

I am sitting in the lunch room with my son the other day and I am watching him interact with the other kids and as a means to show him affection I leaned over and told him. Son remember to enjoy the moments you have today and gave him a kiss.

He then gave me the look that as parents we all dread and you know what it is the one where they glare at you like mom or dad what are you talking about ? Then it hit me that what I had said means nothing to him because kids already live that way they don't worry about the future, and barely know the past exist. They are truly an example of living in the present. I mean have you ever met a child that said man how am I gonna pay the mortgage, or how are we gonna eat, I have to pick up stuff from the cleaners, etc. Of course not and we tell them they shouldn't have to yet we don't free ourselves from it when we can.

As parents we sometimes get caught up in being the teacher but the first rule of learning is always being open to learn and we tend to forget that with our children and how they can teach us so much. As adults we tend to become a big ball of our perceptions about people and situations instead of using perception in the way it was meant to be used it became the thing that blocks us from appreciating all life has to offer.

Now I am not saying all perceptions are wrong there is truly some purpose for their use but we are not suppose to let them be the ruler of our lives however it is easy to forget this and therefore we forget what our children have yet to learn and that is this. The only moment we have is right now and making that now moment the best minute to minute day to day will become the life we one day look back on. That the moment your making right now in 10 min will be your past and 5 minutes before it happened was your future. Growing up I heard the following statement "Dom don't grow up to fast you have your whole life to be an adult" I didn't know what that meant until now and honestly I have to disagree with you mom there are parts of my childhood I am happy to reconnect with. This entry is an example of one of them. See you don't have to give up being a child you have to give up childish behaviors and that makes it ok to focus on the now and add some playfulness to this thing called life.

So I encourage all of you to take a few moments today and be a kid again your soul will appreciate you for it and you may find you like what you see when you take a moment to connect with yourself.

Until my next post

Namaste and God Bless

Letting Go

When you here the phrase let go you lots f things of come to mind it is such a universal statement one that transcends both past and present it is a statement that lives in both places. Yet until a few weeks ago I never realized the freedom in letting go and massive power received from it.

In celebration of my 30th birthday I decided to go sky diving and with it I found, and experienced a freedom yet known to me.

As I have reflected on the entire event a few life lessons came to me.

1. When faced with no option other than to succeed it is harder to fail. See when the instructor told me death or servere injury was the result of failing to listen things changed. My energy became shifted on the present moment with no regard for what the outcome in the future would be or how I might mess like I had in the past only that I needed to focus on what I was doing in order to prevent any harm that may come to me.  
2. During this process there was no fear I mean I couldn't be afraid because I was so focused that fear showed up when it was supposed to until then it was only the simple task of remembering that step by being completely in the NOW. See with our goals we sometimes end up thinking about fear before the simple next step that needs to be taken and miss valuable information.
3. Letting go is always the hardest part. Everything comes down to your confidence with letting go I trained for almost 8hrs just to feel confident to do what I needed to do. But when on the wing of a plane going 113 miles an hour, 6000ft above the ground, and a instructor waiting on u. Your only option is to LET GO.
   

One day your goal will require u to do the same by being present in every moment u make the most of them so when u let go u know exactly what to do. Just like I did. There u have it folks all the insight without the adrelaline.

God Bless and Good Luck.  

Power Of Entertainment

How many people love movies ( I am raising my hand) we all do actually. This is not a surprise and why not love movies I mean they provide us with the escape from our own world even if it is only for 2 hours or so. I never really grew up watching movies as a kid we lacked the funds for a VCR and a TV hence the reason to this day I am fan of radio. (Shout to Sirius its the truth). Needless to say though I was hooked when I went to my uncles and watched my first movie ever (Terminator) and when I turned 14 i experienced what the big screen has to offer. I would later run a video department for six years and make up for the loss movies I had not seen in my lifetime.

God I love irony.

So in all the movie watching I have done I am guilty of the following thing and I am sure you might be to. I am guilty of putting myself in the characters shoes and identifying in a true way or wishing I had a little of what that person on screen possessed. There is nothing at all wrong with this type of embellishment it is actually fun and if your like me and search for meaning in everything then it can be very eye opening.

So I got an eye full last night when I watched The Ghost Of Girlfriends Past. starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner. Not only did I identify with the character it was literally like someone snuck in on my life and filmed it from a distance. Lucky for me I am in a place where I am working get away from by previous unbecoming behavior and have started towards a focused and devoted life towards god and enriching the lives of others. I won't give away the movie, nor do I condone the antics that place although I can not say that I am not guilty for having preformed some of them in my young life.

The overall point is this

I believe that God speaks to us in any means that will get his point across and he knows what messages we need to hear and when we need to hear them.

I heard one in the movie I watched last night but it was because my ears were open to hear it. I am asking you are your ears open to hearing what is being said to you and are you listening ? There is value in everything if you allow your self to experience and see it so the next time you doing something and it feels as though this was meant for you or you feel it is address something in your life maybe it is.

Until my next post God Bless and Good Luck.

The Noticer

The video says it all having read the book it makes my life list ( a list of books that need to be read in one's life) and I wanted to share it with everyone. The author seems nice to boot and if you want to follow him on twitter you can do so here.

CANI

Today was one of those days that come along ever so often. You know them they are the days when you feel that you are getting things accomplished ,creating the results you choose and it is all happening without you even knowing it. Anytime we have a day like this or a few days like this it is so empowering that there is an inital need to relax or rest on our laurels.

That is where our senses take over and we must fight or natural tendency to enjoy comfort. One way of doing this is by changing our frame of focus from working for comfort to working for CANI. Now I do need to let you all know this is not my word nor did I create it. It came from Anthony Robbins who is my unoffical mentor. His perspective is one that seems to resonate with me. (much like I hope mine does for you)The word means Constient and Neverending Improvement and I can tell there is tremendous value in having this be your frame of reference to come from.

We live in a time when the only thing that is constant is change. The problem is how many people like change ? Well in my interactions I would say not many at all and there energy and focus becomes the fact that they don't want to change and resistance is built around this idea. What would happen if that resistance became an opportunity for CANI? Well my guess would be the result I see in my life less stress,growth, and opportunity at every corner. Isn't that a better perspective to have? I can only speak from my experience and I would say that it is a great one because with all the information that we get in our life it can feel overwhelming so why not get an advantage and even the playing field by making use of all the stuff that is gonna come your way anyway.

What is the worst that could happen it might work and make your life better ?

Start off small take a day and focus on learning and improving and see if it feels better than when you just go thru feeling inundated with life.

Change you rules for life and change your life.

Until my next post God Bless and Good Luck.

Magic Number for Staying Alive

So lately I have been reading a book called the Survivors Club by Ben Sherwood

The book is about what it takes to survive and funny enough it starts with thinking that you can live. Again another testimony to the power of your thoughts. below is an interesting number that I thought I would share with you if you want to know more check out the link above and find out not only how to live but what is your survival personality type.

98.6 is the first magic number that needs to be known. It is your core body temperature and should never be loss. It must remain at that exact number in order for you to survive.

The next number is the Rule of 3 and it states you cannot survive:

3 seconds without spirit and hope

3 minutes without air

3 hours without shelter in extreme conditions

3 days without water

3 weeks without food

3 months without companionship or love

Well there you have it. When I look at the numbers it seems very simple and familiar I did not expect companionship and love to make the list but after some thought I understand why. This by no means is the end all be all but is interesting to know.

Were All Human

I had some realizations occur this weekend and I wanted to share them. Now the things you read here are not things I have not said before or explained how to do. The purpose of this post is to say I am not something special nor am I above the things I teach. The things I am talking about are this Never allow anyone to take your control. Live your life with humility. See that wasn't so bad now was it? Since we were younger we have all been told something similar to the two sentences above. If that is the case why don't we do them ? Well I can only answer that for myself when I say that it is to fall into old patterns. Even with all that I know it happens and will continue until I generate the leverage to prevent it. Case in point is me giving away my control I had a personal event that allowed me to do just that and create a great deal of unneeded stress and trouble most importantly I lost access to someone I love dearly. When I look at the situation I realized there were moments that I had the opportunity to do things differently but did not because of my natural condition to go with the familiar. This cost me a price that I was not willing to pay and because of my level of commitment to my self development I know that I will not allow myself to reach the point of total loss of control again.There comes a time in your live when the stakes are to high to make bad judgment calls. When are they too high for you ? If you can identify those moments before hand you can be proactive and make better choices. As for the humility I learned a very simple notion know matter how much knowledge you have you can not impress your views on anyone even if they happen to helpful or correct. If you do this it should easy to correct just stop trying to convince people to like you or do what you say. God Bless Amen

Writing This Blog

So I decided that I needed a blog to help get some of the thoughts I have out of my head and into the world previously I devoted the site to the discussion of sex and how to be better at it because I am in the process of writing a book about that. However that is not at all I am about I am a guy who is working to live his life the way it should be lived. So I will be updating regularly on my projects,relationships,thoughts,and anything else. I know this much I open looking forward to hearing peoples thoughts as I am always open to discussion.